I recently became a mom!
Thank you so much <3!!
From the moment my baby entered my life, an indescribable bond was formed. It is the love that knows no bounds, surpassing sleepless nights and trying times. This love fuels my commitment to nurturing, protecting and supporting my child.
Apart from being a mom, I'm an IT Engineer, who needs to get back to work after seven and half months of maternity leave. Realizing that i need to stay away from my baby for about 10 hours a day was a momentous transition that brought a wave of emotions. I wrote this article to take you through my journey of mommy guilt and ultimately finding balance and fulfillment in both my role as a mother and a professional.
Mommy guilt is an emotional response that arises when a mother feels inadequate or conflicted about her choices and actions regarding her role as a parent. For me, it stemmed from personal standards, and the inherent desire to be the best parent possible. Being a fauji wife, i was the one trying to be present for the baby all the time as my husband mostly stayed away. However, it's crucial to recognize that mommy guilt is not a productive or healthy emotion. Instead, it often leads to unnecessary self-doubt, anxiety, and stress, which can negatively impact your overall well-being and effectiveness as both a mother and an employee.
Recognizing the Root Causes:
To tackle mommy guilt, it's essential to identify its underlying causes and challenge them head-on. Here are a few common factors that contribute to mommy guilt:
1. Societal Pressure: Society often perpetuates the notion that being a "good" mother means devoting all your time and energy solely to your child. I had been told many a times that only a mother should massage a baby. This unrealistic expectation can lead to guilt when pursuing a career outside the home.
2. Internal Expectations: As a new mom, i did set set high standards for myself, aspiring to be the perfect parent in all aspects. When faced with the reality of divided attention between work and family, i felt guilty for not meeting my own expectations.
3. Comparison Trap: Social media platforms and the constant exposure to other parents' seemingly ideal lives can trigger feelings of inadequacy. Remember, social media rarely portrays the full reality and does not define your worth as a parent.
Strategies to Overcome Mommy Guilt:
1. Redefine Success: Acknowledge that success as a mother and a professional can be achieved through balance, not perfection. Set realistic expectations that align with your personal values and focus on the quality of the time you spend with your child rather than the quantity.
2. Practice Self-Compassion: Show yourself the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Understand that taking care of your own well-being is essential for being a present and loving parent, and trust me...it's not selfish.
3. Seek Support: Surround yourself with a supportive network of family, friends, and fellow working moms who can offer encouragement, share experiences, and provide practical advice. My in-laws have been the greatest support in this journey. Their understanding helped alleviate feelings of guilt and isolation.
5. Communicate Openly: Foster open and honest communication with your employer, colleagues, and family members. Discuss your needs, negotiate flexible work arrangements if possible, and establish clear boundaries to ensure a healthy work-life integration.
As a new working mom, it's important to recognize that mommy guilt is a common challenge, but it doesn't define you or your abilities as a parent. By understanding its root causes, challenging societal expectations, and implementing self-care strategies, you can overcome mommy guilt and find harmony between your professional aspirations and your role as a mother. Remember, your love and dedication to your child extend beyond the confines of your work schedule, and you are the best momma!!